The recapping bug strikes again! I was going to do the Justified pilot, but my DVDs are currently making the rounds, so instead you get one of my favorite episodes from season two: The Spoil. Off we go!
It’s nighttime in the woods, and the Fabulous Bennett Boys are driving up to a house, so right off the bat you know things are going to be awesome. Probably not for Reggie, the guy who steps out of the house– Dickie and Coover tell him it’s time for a little conversation about selling his land to Ma Bennett rather than Black Pike (an appropriate name for a mining company but also basically handing its detractors at least a clip’s worth of pejorative name puns). Dickie’s holding a duffel bag that’s moving and making muffled noises, which is terrifying but also amazing, because of course Dickie’s holding a bag with some sort of feral animal in it. Before poor Reggie finds out what’s in that bag, though, Boyd Crowder and his Hair step in and chase off the Bennett Boys, who promise they’ll be back in the morning to get Reggie to sign the land over. Boyd recommends Reggie sign the land over to Black Pike in return for protection, otherwise he’ll likely find out what’s in that bag. Sounds kind of like a no-brainer to me, and I think Boyd’s Hair agrees with me.
At some random batting cage, Raylan’s hitting balls instead of people, for a change. Art shows up, as he’s wont to do, because Raylan’s once again not answering his phone. I don’t know how Art hasn’t just shot Raylan already. Just in, like, the leg. He pissily tells Raylan he’s got guard duty the next morning at 8 a.m. for that hot lady from the mining company. She’s running some town hall meeting down in Harlan and Judge Stephen Root has ordered her up some protection because of a possible miner with a grudge and a shotgun. Raylan, who’s got a depleted bottle of Jim Beam keeping him company, of course can’t just say “Sure thing” and shut up, and he gets indignant about the Judge being the target, not the pretty redhead. (This whole time, by the way, the ball-shooter-thing has still been pitching, unnoticed.) The conversation splits in two when the longhaired little punk who runs the batting cage comes up and starts nagging Raylan and Art about not wearing helmets. In between his whining to Art, Raylan casually insinuates he’d be cool with beating the shit out of the kid, who threatens to call the cops. “Kid, we are the cops,” Art sneers. The kid, bless him, doesn’t immediately disappear in a cloud of cartoon dust, but instead says, “Well, you should know how to obey the law, then,” before slouching off. Art orders Raylan to pick up that lady on time before doing the Art version of stomping off in a huff. Raylan takes a big ol’ swig o’ Jim Beam, because his life is shit right now.
He didn’t stop at that swig, apparently, because when he gets home (at 2:49, according to the clock on the nightstand) he’s Super Depressed Drunk. WiNOna’s sleeping like a whorebaby, because she has no concept of the shit Raylan has– and continues to –put himself through for her. He wakes her up by saying “He knows,” in a sad monotone kind of way. WiNOna has no idea what he’s talking about, so Raylan specifies he means Art, who clearly knows about the whole idiotic “Shit, I Stole $100K and Now You Have to Help Me Give it Back, Ex-Husband Whom I Left for a Schlub” thing WiNOna pulled over the last two episodes. WiNOna’s just like, “Oh, well, what’s he going to do? Turn us in?” “I would if I was him,” Raylan answers ungrammatically. (WERE, Raylan. Don’t they teach proper use of the subjunctive in Marshal School?) Further proving just how much she sucks, WiNOna just kind of shrugs and rolls over and once again leaves it all to Raylan to wrestle with. God, I hate WiNOna. (And yes, I will continue to say “WiNOna,” despite it being juvenile and not all that clever, because I literally say, “Ugh, no” every time she comes on screen.)